Not a good mix
by Blackhawk1674
Summary: CPD Intelligence Detective a steel pipe ... Well whatever it equals it's not good!
1. Chapter 1

**Let me know what you think!**

The suspect burst out of the building as soon as intelligence had busted through the doors. Jay charged on after him Lindsay and Voight in hot pursuit. Jay knew he could out run this guy. He also knew that the perp wasn't going to give in without trying his damn best to get away.

He'd been chasing the perp for almost five blocks now. Slowly but surely he had been gaining on him. If this particular detective from intelligence had a choice between car chases and good old fashioned foot chases, he would choose the foot chase every time. He felt more satisfaction from slapping the cuffs on an out of breath suspect, who he had successfully caught. This one would be no different.

They continued running, the detective getting closer and closer. Other members of his unit were hot on their heels, but they weren't quite as fast as he was. He had been making steady ground, when all of a sudden the suspect dashed down an alley way.

It took him just a split second to realise, but it was just enough time for the perp to get a small head start. He took off running down the alley way. The alley was dark despite being early in the afternoon. The sun was still shining over Chicago. Jay loved this kind of weather. It made chasing criminals so much more enjoyable. Rain wasn't his friend, but hey was it anyone's.

He got near the end and began to wonder why he couldn't hear any traces of the suspect. He slowed just slightly, catching is breath before sliding out round the corner. When he round the corner of the building he still couldn't see the suspect. He was just about to turn around, when it hit him, literally.

He he felt the hard object connect with his skull. His vision began to get blurry and black fog began to creep up round the edges. He felt his legs turn to jello and he just about felt it when his body connected with the pavement, but not for long. Before Jay Halstead could really figure out what was going on the dark abyss claimed him.

There standing behind him wielding a large metal pipe was the suspect. He had knocked the detective out cold. Then he could here other police, so he took off running. This time he had a head start and a distraction that would immediately slow them down. He just put his head down and kept running, until he couldn't hear signs of the police anymore, so he straightened himself up and continued on his way like nothing had ever happened.

MEANWHILE...

We had almost caught up with him and the suspect. I seen them dart down an alley way. We ran after them, then slowed just before the end of the alley. Something wasn't right, I could tell. I just had this sickening feeling in my gut.

I looked at Voight, I could tell he was thinking the same thing. We both slowed down so now we were just walking. We raised our weapons and jumped around the corner but the suspect was no where to be seen and nor was Jay. We had almost turned around when I looked down.

There he was.

Lying on the ground. I feel to my knees beside him. I noticed the blood covering the back of his head. I began screaming at Voight to call and ambulance. Then I began trying to get Jay to wake up. It wasn't working. He was out cold.

Voight came over and said that the bus was a couple of minutes out. We gently rolled Jay over to make sure he had been hurt anywhere else, when all of a sudden he seized up and started convulsing.

 **I know it's short but it was just a quick idea I had let me know if you think I should keep going! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Erin's POV**

Once the seizure ended, jays body went limp. I had began crying and Voight was trying to see if Jay had any other injuries than the gash on the back of his head. Jays breathing had been slowly getting shallower and shallower, by the time the EMTs arrived he was barely breathing at all and Voight was watching his chest, his concentration never lapsing, making sure Jay continued to breath.

The EMTs arrived and one of them started asking us questions about what had happened to him. Voight answered any of their questions he could, anytime I tried to open my mouth my brain clogged up and I couldn't speak. Voight gently pulled me up and out of their way so they could help Jay. I fell into his arms, clinging onto his trying to comfort myself, I was so scared that I might lose Jay.

I couldn't believe this was happening. Voight had only just given his approval for us to be together and this had happened. I had been feeling sick a lot lately and had just gone to the doctors the other day. I had planned on telling Jay tonight. I had a romantic dinner booked for us, it was going to be this amazing surprise. I had the whole thing organised. We were going to have a special dinner then go back to my place where I would make the big reveal. I had planned offer him a beer and when he said yes, like he always does, I was going to bring it to him in baby bottle. Then tell him. Now he might never get to find out, he might never meet his little child. Suddenly I was mentally kicking myself,Jay was going to be fine. I was sure of it. He had to be.I couldn't believe this was happening. Voight had only just given his approval for us to be together and this had happened. I had been feeling sick a lot lately and had just gone to the doctors the other day. I had planned on telling Jay tonight. I had a romantic dinner booked for us, it was going to be this amazing surprise. I had the whole thing organised. We were going to have a special dinner then go back to my place where I would make the big reveal. I had planned offer him a beer and when he said yes, like he always does, I was going to bring it to him in baby bottle. Then tell him. Now he might never get to find out, he might never meet his little child. Suddenly I was mentally kicking myself,Jay was going to be fine. I was sure of it. He had to be.

When I had finally gathered up enough courage to turn around I noticed the EMTs had intubated Jay and where lifting him onto a gurney. I immediately started to cry, again. That was when Voight grabbed my elbow and spun me round. I looked at him completely shocked by what he had just done. His still gaze softened and he told he I had to be strong for Jay, because he was going to need me.

Our moment was interrupted when one of the EMTs yelled asking if either Voight or I wanted to ride in the ambulance with Jay. At this I pulled myself out of Voights hold and ran towards the waiting ambulance. Voight yelled that he was going back to the precinct to inform the others and catch the scumbag that did this to Jay, then he and the rest of the unit would meet us at the hospital.

I nodded in response to him, as one the the EMTs hastily slammed the doors shut. We took off sirens blaring in the direction of Chicago Med, and Jays brother. Shit, someone would have to tell Will. I had this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was going to have to be me. However I couldn't think about that now, I had to focus on Jay.

I grabbed his hand and began gently talking to him. Remembering funny stories he had told me or silly things he had done. I told him at I loved him and that he had to get better because we had a future together. I also told I had a stories for him, an exciting piece of information I had to tell him. I could faintly here the erratic beeping of monitors all round us, but I just blocked them and e rest of the world out until we got to Chicago Med. I felt someone careful had on my shoulder, making be jump out of this trance like state of focus I had on Jay. I was one of the EMTs apparently we were at Chicago Med and I had to let go of Jays hand so they couldn't get out of the ambulance. When he opened the doors a group of doctors and nurses surged forward taking Jay with them. I looked around noticing Will wasn't with them, thank goodness, I didn't want him finding out this way.

 **Antonio's POV**

It had been almost 2 hours when I finally heard footsteps come pounding back up the stairs to Intelligence. I had started to worry that something had happened, Jay, Erin and Vought had been gone too long. Now they were back. A small smile appeared on my face, wiping away the worry I hadn't even noticed was there.

My smile fell when I seen a rather disgruntled Voight appear at the top of the steps. On his own. Alvin, Atwater and Ruzek hadn't even looked up from their desks, until they noticed the eerie silence. Ruzek was the first to break the silence, asking where Lindsay and Halstead where. Voight didn't answer. Shit this can't be good. He stalked up to the whiteboard, grabbed a marker and put a circle round the suspect he, Jay and Erin had went to arrest. He threw the pen back down and shouted, "I want this BASTARD caught NOW!"

Alvin was next to speak, readdressing Ruzeks earlier question on the whereabouts of Lindsay and Halstead. We were all worried, so was Voight I could see it on his face. Thats when he broke the silence and began talking.

"We rolled up and went to the door. We knocked, got no answer, so I instructed Halstead and Lindsay to clear the house with me. We went in and cleared the house until Halstead got to the kitchen, where he say the suspect take off out through the back door. He immediately went after him chasing him down the street and into an alley way," Voight ground out. He was avoiding the question, we all knew by this point that something had gone down. Voight continued, "Halstead pursued him. By this stage Lindsay and I had almost caught up. When we got to the end of the alley there was no sign of Halstead or the suspect, unto we looked down. Halstead was lying on the ground passed out and the suspect was gone." The temperature dropped significantly in the bullpen and a deathening silence existed between us, it seemed like time had frozen.

Alvin broke the silence asking if Halstead was okay. The suspense was killing us. Voight then went on to explain about the seizure and how the EMTs had had to intubated him. The tension in the room was enormous. I just collapsed into my chair, the shock was overwhelming. We all just sat looking at each other, when something rudely interrupted the silence. Voights phone. It was ringing.

 **Sorry about the cliff hanger! I guess you'll just have to wait and seen what happens to Jay! Let know what you think and thanks for reading! Xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Enjoy! Sorry it took so long to update!**

 **VOIGHTS POV**

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked down at the caller ID, it was Erin. I immediately retreated into my office, just in case the news wasn't good. I took a deep breath and answered. She just about sobbed out a hello and then she was crying.

I then started trying to get her to calm down and tell me what was going on. After a few more minutes she had collected herself enough to tell me. She breathed out one short sentence, "Jay's in surgery!"

"What for?" I immediately responded. She then went onto tell me something about increased pressure from a bleed on his brain. This wasn't good, even someone like me without a medical degree would know that. Erin had started crying again. I just let her cry this time trying to utter some comforting words to her, telling Jay was strong and that he would pull through for her.

She then asked is we had caught the guy, I told her the truth. We hadn't, but the whole team was working on it. I told her that as soon as we had caught him we would come to Chicago Med, so we could all be there for her and for Jay. Erin had calmed down again by this point and told me she had to go and find Will and break the news to him. She said she would call with any updates.

 **ERINS POV (rewind like 15mins)**

When we arrived at the hospital Jay was rushed off into one of the rooms. I immediately recognised the doctor as Connor Rhodes from Molly's. He seemed slightly shocked when he realised who was lying in front of him, but it was momentary. He just began treating Jay like he was any other patient. One of the nurses walked up to me and gently guided me towards the waiting room, informing me that someone would come and tell me what was going on. Then I remembered about Will, he needed to know. I asked the nurse if he was on shift she said yes he was, but he had just left for his lunch break and would be back in 30 minutes. I told her that I didn't want Will to find out from anyone but me, she responded saying she would do her best. Great! I thought I have 30 minutes to figure out what I am going to say to Will.

I looked up and saw that a doctor had just walked into the room. He called out, "Family of Jay Halstead?".i jumped up and ran over to him.

"I'm his girlfriend!" I responded. He directed me back towards a chair. My stomach was doing somersaults at this point. I was terrified of what he was going to say.

"Unfortunately we have discovered that he has an epidural hematoma. That means he had a bleed on his brain. It is very serious, but I promise you we will do everything we can. We have taken him up for surgery. You can go up to the surgical waiting room, we aren't sure yet how long the procedure will take but someone will be out with updates," the doctor breathed out calmly. I felt my stomach drop. I began to cry. The doctor tried comforting me, reminding me they would do everything they possibly could for him. Before he got up I thanked him.

After the doctor left I pulled out my phone and dialled Voight. I needed to here a comforting voice, someone who would tell me that Jay would be okay. Once I had finished talking to Hank and he had done everything in his power to comfort me, I realised it was time to find Will. I was wishing I didn't have to do this, but Will deserved to know. Jay was his little brother after all.

I walked into the ED and saw Will happily conversing with some of the nurses. Obviously no one had let it slip yet, most of them probably didn't even know Jay was here. I was nearly over to them when Will turned around. I could see the hesitation on his face, almost like he anticipated what was coming. I never for one second thought this was going to be so hard.

Will strode over to me asking, "Erin, what are you doing here?" I think he was trying to avoid what he deep down knew what was coming.

I cleared my throat an began explaining to him what had happened from the very start. As I let out more and more of the story getting closer to the inevitable, Will became more and more agitated. I finally let it out, "Jay was hurt, Will." Any shimmer of hope he had that his brother wasn't the reason for my being here dimmed. All that was left was worry and fear. We both felt the same, terrified beyond belief that we might lose him.

 **WILL'S POV**

I had just come back from my lunch break. I was standing chatting for a minute with a couple of the nurses before seeing my next patient. When I turned around to walk in the direction of said patient I saw Erin, my brothers girlfriend standing there. I immediately felt my heart sink. Something was wrong. I could tell by the look on her face. I walked over to her as quickly as I could without breaking into a sprint. I asked what she was doing here hoping, praying it had absolutely nothing to do with my little brother being hurt. Unfortunately I was soon to learn I was wrong.

Erin started to explain what happened, as she slowly got round to what I feared the pinnacle of the conversation was, I could feel the anxiety and tension in my body build. Then she came out and said it. Jay had been hurt. My little brother had been hurt, again. I felt as though I was about to lose my lunch, luckily I didn't, but I would do anything to make sure my little brother was okay.

I took a brief second to digest what I had just been told, before my brain went into overdrive. She told me how Jay was in surgery. Shit, I thought this is not good. I jumped up and ran over to Maggie at the nurses station to see is she could get an update on Jay for me. She nodded and then pointed over to Erin, who had apparently stayed strong so she could tell me, but had now fallen apart. I quickly went back over to her. She was sobbing. I pulled her into a tight embrace telling her Jay was strong and he would be okay, even if I didn't know if that was true or not. Please let it be true.

She leaned her head into the crook of my shoulder still sobbing. Then she uttered a game changer, "Will, I'm pregnant, I can't lose him!" A small smile spread across my face at this news. Jay was going to be thrilled. Then my smile fell. I was thing what if he never even knows that Erin is pregnant. What if he never meets his son or daughter. What if he's never around to see his kids grow up. My subconscious was kicking itself, that wasn't gonna happen and I had to be strong for Erin and the baby. They would need me either way, because one thing was certain Jay had a long road to recovery ahead of him. That's when Maggie came over with the update...

 **Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hope you enjoy!**

Maggie looked down at Erin and Will, they seemed to be able to offer each other mutual comfort. She was glad Will had someone there for him. She knew how much he loved his brother, anyone could tell just by the way they looked at each other, the way they interacted. Will noticed Maggie first, nudging Erin trying to inform her of Maggie's presence. The two slowly looked up at her with worried but hopeful faces. Then Maggie spoke.

 **Will's POV**

"So far the surgery is going well. They just started but right now he's doing good." She said calmly. A small smile broke across Erin's face. Will's lips curled up slightly, but as he was a doctor he knew that, how his brother was doing could change in a matter of seconds. How he prayed it wouldn't, he needed his little brother. Erin's baby needed its father. How would Erin cope without him. We had all seen what Nadia's death had done to her, and now she was pregnant. If we were to lose Jay Erin would be broken. I kicked myself, I know my brother even though he doesn't know about the baby yet, he wouldn't give up on Erin and even me without a hell of a fight.

Erin said she wanted to go and call Voight and inform him of the update on Jay. I told that I would meet her in the surgical waiting room as soon as I could find someone to cover my shift. She nodded and slowly retreated to make the phone call, at least it was good news. For now anyway. I stood and walked back over to the nurses station where I had been not 30 minutes before, happily joking completely oblivious to the situation. Maggie waved her hands telling me to go and be there for Erin, that she would get my shift sorted. She also uttered some reassuring words that Jay would be okay, because he was a stubborn Halstead and apparently that means he won't give up. I thanked Maggie and took off in the direction of the elevator.

Just as I round the corner heading towards the elevator, I collided with someone. We somehow both managed to remain standing. I looked down to see who it was, it was Nat. She peered up at me trying to figure out why I was in such a rush. I had to get upstairs to Jay, so I murmured and apology and went over to the lifts. Natalie though knew me too well, she knew something was wrong. So she followed me. We got into the lift, surprising there was only us in it, then she tackled the proverbial elephant in the room. She asked me what was going on. I was about to begin explaining when something deep inside me broke. I had been able to hold it together for Erin, but with Nat it was different, she was capable of making me feel so comfortable. Around her I felt like I could let it all out. I'd never experienced that before. We had this mutual understanding that in each other's prescience we could speak freely of all of our fears and worries without judgement. Deep down I think we love each other, but we need to give it time. I need to give her time, she lost her husband, she's just back to work after having a baby.

She held me in her arms, pulling us out of the elevator at the floor I had selected. She then pulled us in the direction of a nearby store room, so she could find out what was going on. She flicked the switch, illuminating the small closet. Finally I felt like I could speak again. I started gushing it all out, letting it flow freely. I told about how Jay was hurt and in surgery and that no one knew if he was going to make it. I told her how scared Erin was. How scared I was. I even told her that Erin was pregnant. She seemed shocked by my outburst. She just pulled me close again rubbing my back as I sobbed. Then she gave me a short speech telling me that Jay was strong and that he would be okay, telling me I had to be there for Erin and for Jay and also for the baby.

 **Meanwhile Erin's POV**

I hit the speed dial for Voight felling slightly reassured by Maggie's update and that I had told someone that I was pregnant. As she heard the phone begin to ring she silently warned herself not to get her hopes up just yet. I contemplated briefly,telling Voight that I was pregnant but immediately changed my mind knowing full well that he would freak out and I can't deal with that right now. Jay was still in surgery. However, deep down somewhere I just knew that eventually he was going to be okay. My thoughts were interrupted by Hank's gravelly voice, " Voight!"

"Hey! It's Erin." I replied.

"Any news on Halstead?" Voight asked.

"He's still in surgery but so far so good, we just have to wait and see. How are you'd getting on with catching this bastard?" I answered.

" Hang in there kiddo Halstead will be okay. He knows I'll kick his ass if he isn't. As far as catching the son of a bitch responsible we have a few leads and are just about to roll out. I'll let you know if we catch him." Voight countered.

"Okay. Good luck and stay safe," I responded.

"See you soon, call if you have anymore updates," Voight said.

I hung up and walked down the corridor towards the waiting room. Just as I was passing the bathroom my stomach churned. I dived into the bathroom just in time before I threw up. This baby definitely was not liking me having missed dinner. Every now and then my stomach would growl. I needed to eat something, but I was determined to wait until after Jay was out of surgery. I had to make sure he was alright. He deserved to meet his child, he deserved to grow old and happy, he deserved to life a full life. I don't know what I would do or how I would manage without him. Then a voice popped into my head asking me how on earth I could think like that Jay wasn't gone.

Once I was sure I wasn't going to puke again I rinsed some water over my face and went down towards the waiting room. I sat down in one of the hard plastic chairs, they had to be the most uncomfortable thing ever, but right now they weren't my priority Jay was. I pulled out my phone and started reading through some pointless new story, trying to occupy my mind. I had been sitting there for a few minutes when Will appeared along with Natalie. Will's eyes were puffy and red and I could tell he had been crying. I could tell that he had been doing his best to hold himself together to reassure me, I suppose. I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to do that, but I wasn't strong enough to do that, somehow his strength comforted me, it meant that my brain could tell itself that if Will was okay and not panicking Jay would be okay then too.

 **Voights POV**

I put my phone back in my pocket after the conversation with Erin and walked out into the bullpen full of expectant faces, all waiting for an update on their fellow detective and friend. At least for now I had some good news to share, we'll sort of. Antonio was the first to break the silence, "Was that Erin?" He enquired.

"Yeh it was," I replied, "Halstead's still in surgery but right now it's going well and thing are looking promising." A sigh of relief passed around the bullpen. Small smiles appeared on everyone in the room, some larger than others, but not because anyone cared any less about Jay, it was just some had more medical knowledge than others. "Have we any leads on the perp?" I asked.

Antonio responded, "A CI of mine says that there's chatter that he is hiding out in a warehouse on he edge of the city. I though we could go and check it out. Mouse can you text everyone the address."

Mouse just nodded, he looked flustered but after all he and Jay were close, very close. They had a bond that was formed in the most dangerous of zones, were the men standing beside you are family and your life depends on them and theirs you. I have great respect for both Jay and Mouse, for their service. I never would have thought that Mouse being such an antsy person would appear so cool and calm in a situation like this, who knew.

"Gear up and roll out. We catch this bastard and we can go to Chicago Med to be there for Halstead and Lindsay." I yelled. Everyone jumped up determined to catch the guy that hurt a member of their family. There would be hell to pay when we found him, not only for what he was putting Halstead through but Erin too.

Two hours later, the perp was in custody. Despite my desire to take him to the docks, Al and Antonio had reminded me that, that is not what Jay would want. He always was such a moral person, he believed in doing things the right way. He was a much better man than me. I think that when I realised that, I realised that there was no better a man for Erin. So instead we marched the perp into the precinct, handed him over to the somewhat terrifying Trudy Platt and then we all left to go to the hospital to get and update on Halstead. I had a felling he and Erin where gonna be needing some support.

 **Erin's POV**

Will and I had been sitting in the waiting room for almost 4 hours now Natalie had left after about 30 minutes, she briefly reassured Will that Jay would be fine and telling him that she would be back after her shift was over. I could those two had something special but they weren't ready to act on it just yet. I think Will was beginning to get impatient, then he spoke saying he was going to try and get an update. Before he could even collect himself enough to stand a doctor appeared in the doorway. I tried to read his face to see if I could judge by his expression how it went, but I couldn't. He seemed ruffled yet calm with. He had that practiced look that only came with years of experience as a doctor delivering both bad and good news. Will and I jumped up as he said, "Family of Jay Halstead?"

"That's us!" Will and I spoke in unison, charging in the direction of the doctor.

"Okay, would you like to take a seat, so I can let you know what's going on." The doctor replied gently.

Will felt his heart lurch it was never normally good if the family was asked to sit down, it usually meant there was a big shock coming and rarely a good one at that. "Please just tell us what is going on!" Will said.

The doctor nodded and began, " Jay suffered from a serious epidural hematoma. Fortunately we were able to fix that and release the pressure on his brain although there is a small amount of swelling on his brain. We won't know the extent of the damage until he wakes up, but I'm hoping that it will be limited and temporary. Unfortunately right now we are having some trouble waking him up and so for now his is on a ventilator. We are hoping that after a few days his condition should improve enough and the swelling go down enough for him to wake up and have the ventilator removed. If it doesn't we will do some more tests and she what the problem is and go from there."

I felt relieved and terrified at the same time. I glanced over at Will his reaction wasn't comforting he looked like he had seen a ghost. I didn't understand so I asked the doctor, "Honestly how bad is it that he isn't waking up?"

"Right now it isn't great but we are hoping that providing his condition doesn't deteriorate that he should return to his old self with time." The doctor answered. "He being moved down to the ICU now, I'll send a nurse up to let you know when you's can come and see him." With hat the doctor got up and left. I sat there tapping my foot impatiently waiting on the nurse to appear.

 **Will's POV**

I couldn't believe my ears. Did the doctor really just say that my little brother was on a ventilator and they couldn't get him to wake up? All I kept thinking was no please, not him. I know what that means, I know it means that Jay has probably slipped into a coma. He has to be okay. I looked over at Erin, she seemed slightly happier but still worried. I wondered how much easier it would be to be in this situation without medical knowledge, I feel like I know too much now. I feel like I'm betraying my little brother even letting thoughts of losing him creep into my head. Before I could think anything else Voight and the rest of intelligence walked in. They all looked worried.

Erin and I stood. Erin ran over to Hank and he embraced her where as I just stood awkwardly as the group filtered into the roomuntil Antonio come over to me, giving me a quick hug. Then they all turned looking at me with anticipation, they knew Erin was in no state to answer their questions. Hank broke the silence, "How is he?"

"He's out of surgery. It itself went well... but they are having some trouble walking him up. He's... he's on a ventilator and they are moving him down to the ICU we are just waiting on some one coming to take us to him." I shakily replied.

Their faces fell with that piece of information the Alvin spoke, "Do they know when he'll wake up?"

"It all depends on Jay really, they'll give him a couple of days and then run some tests to see what's going on. Hopefully he wakes up." I ground out.

After that everyone sat down in silence waiting on a nurse coming to get us. Alvin and and Antonio sitting quietly talking, Roman, Atwater, Ruzek and Burgess watching something on the Tv and Voight sat attempting to comfort Erin. Half an hour later a slightly familiar nurse appeared in the door way. She said that she was here to take us to see him but only two of us could go in at a time, Erin and I immediately jumped up. We followed the nurse to just outside Jay's room then she left us. We stood there for a few seconds glaring at the door. It was only a short time but it felt like forever. I wasn't prepared for what was on the other side of the door but I knew Erin was even less. So I just grabbed her hand and with my others hand opened the door into Jays room.

 **Thanks for reading! Will try and update soon. Review and let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry it has took me so long to update. So without further ado... Enjoy!**

 **Erin's POV**

Will and I had walked into the room clutching each other's hand for moral support. Will's hand was shaking he was obviously worried about his little brother. As if in unison we looked up from the floor at Jay. That's precisely when my jaw dropped. He had a thick white bandage wrapped around his head, His face was placid and relaxed. There was an ugly tube protruding from his normally grinning mouth. I felt my heart lurch. I couldn't lose him. I looked down at my stomach. We couldn't lose him. I didn't want my child growing up without its father all because of some lowlife scum.

Will and I sat down in chairs on the opposite sides of Jays bed. I grabbed his hand, it was almost clammy, but I didn't care I just needed to feel him to be reassured that he was still there. I began stroking patterns on the back of his hand. Will and I sat there in silence for what felt like forever then all of a sudden Will got up and left leaving Jay and I alone. That's when I began talking to him.

"I love you, Jay. I really need you to wake up. I can't live without you. Please come back to me, to us. You have so much to live for, so much. I know someone who will be arriving in a while and they really can't wait to meet you, so... So you have to be there. No excuses!" I sobbed out.

I sat there talking for what felt like hours, it might have been I didn't look at the time. Nurses had been coming and going checking on him. I could feel my eyelids beginning to get heavy. I tried to avoid it, but I slowly drifted asleep, still holding Jays hand.

 **Wills POV**

I just couldn't sit there anymore. I felt so helpless I had to go. I went back down stairs to the ED. I was greeted at the door by Natalie. She pulled me aside and asked, "How's he doing?"

I sighed, "Just the same. I don't know what to do. I should be there but I can't. I feel so helpless. What do I do?"

"Oh Will, I'm sure your brother will be fine, he strong and he's a fighter. All you need to do is be there for him , for Erin, for you niece or nephew and I'll be there for you." Natalie said.

"Thanks Nat. I think I might do something down here for a while and not feel so useless." I said.

"Okay. Do you want me to stay with you?" Natalie asked.

"No, no you should go home and be with Owen." I replied.

"Alright. Call me if you need me or anything changes." Natalie said.

" Okay. See you later." I finished

I stood scratching my head, before jumping into action when a trauma call came in. The ED burst into action me along with it. I gladly buried myself in work for the next few hours. I decided to take a break realising Erin probably hadn't eaten from before this all began, which when I checked my watch was almost 10 hours ago. I went down to the cafeteria and grabbed some sandwiches a coffee for myself and a juice for Erin, seeing as she wouldn't be drinking coffee for a while now.

I slowly made my way back towards Jays room in the ICU. I hated the thought of going back into that room with him lying there. The sound of the heart monitor and the gusts of the ventilator taunting me, reminding me constantly what was going on. I need my little brother to wake up. I muster up all the courage I can and go back into his room with the food. Erin was sitting in the chair beside his bed, clutching his hand, she had fallen asleep. I went round to her and gently shook her shoulder.

"Erin. Hey wake up." I whispered gently.

"Hhm. What do you want?" She replied.

" I brought you some food. You have to eat, for the baby." I answered.

She suddenly sat bolt upright, obviously she had just remembered what's going on. She looked over at Jay with a sad smile. Glad her was still there but upset he hadn't woke up. I handed her the sandwich and the juice. She looked up at me with my coffee.

"Where's mine?" She asked.

"Caffeine's bad for the baby remember" I said.

I could see the realisation flash across her face and she replied, "Shit, I forgot about that!" She started eating her sandwich, she hadn't wanted to leave Jay to get food but she was glad Will had thought to bring her some. We ate quietly, until eventually she broke the silence, "Any change in his condition?"

I sighed, "Not right now, but for now that's probably a good thing."

"Why?" She asked.

"It means he's not getting any worse." I replied defeatedly.

An awkward silence blossomed after my last statement. I could see the fear streaked across her face and mentally kicked myself for showing mine. Erin needed me to stay positive. The silence continued to grow until it was interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by a friendly face peeping round the door. It was Antonio.

 **Antonio's POV**

I walked into the hospital, my hands were shaking. Jay was like a brother to me. The tea had already been through so much, starting with Jules and then Nadia, we couldn't lose Jay too. I had brought Jay into this unit, if he died it would be my fault and I would never be able to forgive myself. We all knew that losing Jay would irreversibly break Erin, it had been hard enough for her to get straightened out after Nadia. Jay had been her Rick ever since, Voight had finally caved in and let them be a couple. I had seen either of them as happy before. Why does life have to be such a bitch.

Erin had text me Halsteads room number last night. It wasn't too difficult to find. When I did I stopped outside the door and looked in through the window. I saw Jay on the bed, he looked so fragile. Erin and Will say on opposite sides of the bed, they both looked exhausted. I finally summoned up the courage to knock on the door and go in. I was greeted with two half hearted smiles.

"Hey. How's he doing?" I asked.

Will was first to reply, "Hey Antonio. He's much the same, but right now he's going as good as we could hope for."

Erin turned and looked at me, "Hey." She responded weakly.

I walked over to her and pulled her up into a hug. She started to cry, it wasn't like her but, her boyfriend was in the hospital. He wasn't breathing for himself so I guess you could understand why she was emotional. We stood there for another few minutes as Erin sobbed. Eventually she stopped crying and pulled back. She sat down again and said, "Thanks for coming, I know he would really appreciate everyone being here for him like this."

"Ofcourse I'm hear that's what the teams for. We stick together when times get tough. He will be okay. He's far too stubborn to let this beat him. Just you wait he'll be back cracking jokes in the bullpen before you know it." I said. I don't know if I was talking solely for Erin and Will or if I was trying to reassure myself now too. "Hey Erin. Why don't you two go home and get some rest and I'll stay here with him until you come back?"

"I don't know Tony." Erin replied.

Will looked over to her and said, "He's right, your no use to him if you don't get some rest. It's not good for you to wear yourself out like this. You and I both know Jay wouldn't want that."

Erin replied, "He meant you too Will."

"You and I both know I ant leave him, but I promise to go and take a break and try and sleep in the breakdown downstairs. Just promise me you'll go home for a few hours." Will said.

"I promise to call if anything changes at all Erin. I won't leave him either until you get back." I replied.

Finally she sighed sounding defeated. "Fine," she ground out. "Only for a few hours though."

"A few hours are better than nothing. Do you want me to call a cab for you?" I responded.

"Yeh please." She said.

She started picking up her things. She bent over and gently rubbed his cheek around the breathing apparatus and said to him, "Don't you dare go anywhere. I'll be back soon, remember about our visitor." She gently kissed his cheek and then left.

I sat down in the chair she just vacated and looked over at Will, "How bad is it, honestly?" I asked.

He left his head drop, when he looked back up he looked like he was a bout to fall apart. He shook his head and said, "Not good. Even when he wakes up, he's probably gonna have to go through a lot of therapy to get back to where he was and that's the best case scenario. Worst case scenario he won't wake up or if he does he might be paralysed or have permanent brain damage. The longer he's like this the chance of him waking up gets smaller."

I was shocked by this, I had hoped that it wasn't that bad. "We just have to have faith. He'll come back to us." I said. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I glanced over at Jay, silently hoping he would just open his eyes already and start demanding to get out of the hospital. Right now though that wasn't looking likely.

I finally got Will to go and rest somewhere after about an hour. I leaned back into the chair and sat watching Jay quietly praying he would be okay.

 **Erin's POV**

When I finally got home I just kicked off my shoes and fell into bed, I kept thinking about Jay, I couldn't sleep. I set and alarm for a few hours from now and eventually dosed over. I was dreaming, I dreamt Jay and I and our baby where sitting in the park having a picnic, laughing and talking. Then I woke up, I realised it was just a dream. I started to cry. I just couldn't deal with losing him. Me and this baby needed him. It was 15 mins from when the alarm was set to go off, so I just got up.

I picked up my phone and dialled Voights number. He answered immediately and I sat and talked to him for almost 20 minutes without even realising. I told him about the baby, he was shocked but so happy. He reassured me Jay would be okay. Eventually I ended the phone all saying I had to get back to the hospital. He made me promise to ring him later and update him on Jay, I agreed.

When I hung up I looked at my phone realising I had five missed calls from Antonio. My heart sank. I began to silently pray 'please lord not my Jay, not today', as I dialled Antonio's number. He answered immediately.

"Erin you need to get back here as quick as you can!" He said.

 **Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry it took me so long to update, hopefully I can get the next chapter up sooner. Please review, they are such good motivation!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Enjoy :)**

 **ANTONIO'S POV** (before phone call)

I was just sitting there watching him silently praying that he would wake up soon and end this nightmare for all of us. Erin was a mess and the whole team knew the longer this lasted the worse she was going to get. I was sitting beside Jays bed watching the heart monitor he was attached to and trying to figure out what all the machines around him were for. The only noise in the room was the gentle hiss of the ventilator. I lifted Jays hand up and began talking to him.

"Just wake up already. Please. Not just for me but for Erin she's falling apart." I sighed, looking up to his face to see if he was showing any signs of waking up. Unfortunately he looked exactly the same as he had done from I entered his room earlier this evening. I got lost in thought thinking about what would happen to the unit if Jay never woke up, after telling myself off for being so negative I began to consider what I wanted to do with Jay and for Jay when he woke up.

All of a sudden something interrupted my thoughts. At first it was just a slight twitch of his hand, but it quickly escalated until he was having a full blown seizure. Alarms were going off everywhere around us.

I began shouting, "Help, we need help in here!"

Nurses and doctors rushed into the room and at some stage in among all that I was shoved out the door and it was closed. What was happening? He had been fine just a few minutes ago. I couldn't understand.

I looked up when I heard someone coming running down the corridor. It was Will.

"What happened Antonio? Is he okay?" Will asked.

"I don't know one minute I was sitting there thinking and talking to him the next he's having a seizure." I shakily replied.

"Okay. Wait here. I'm going to find out what's going on." Will said before marching on into Jays room. I sank down into the chair outside Jays room, as I did this I realised someone had to call Erin, that someone was going to have to be me. I slid my phone from my pocket and carefully dialled Erin's number. Then it began to ring.

When she answered I just got straight to the point and said, "Erin you need to get back here as quick as you can." After saying that I quickly hung up knowing it would be easier to explain everything to her once she got here. I then rang the rest of Intelligence informing them all of the situation. They all said they would be there as quickly as they could.

 **ERINS POV**

Antonio hadn't said anything else before hurriedly hanging up. I quickly pulled a hoody, a pair of running bottoms and a pair of trainers on before grabbing my keys and dashing out of the house. All the while I was praying to God that he wouldn't take Jay from us now. I got in my car and made the 15 minute journey to the hospital. It was the longest car ride of my life. When I arrived at the hospital I parked in the first spot I could find and ran towards Jays room. I got to the ICU to see Antonio sitting nervously outside Jays door. My hands were shaking like never before as I charged down the hallway with my sights locked firmly on Antonio.

"What's going on? Is he alright? What happened?" The questions came tumbling from my mouth.

"Sit down Erin." Antonio said as he gently guided me into the seat he had been sitting in. He then crouched down in front me and looked up. I could see the fear in his eyes. His hand was shaking just like mine. I was terrified of what was coming next. Deep down I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Just tell me already." I said.

"Erin he had a seizure." Antonio answered. I gasped, I couldn't believe it. I could feel the tears starting to streak down my face.

I swallowed and asked, "What's going on now then?"

"Will and some other doctors are in there now trying to figure out what's going on." Antonio replied. "He's strong Erin he's gonna be okay."

Then he pulled me in close as the sobs racked my body. I couldn't hold it in anymore I was terrified. As I slowly began to pull away from Antonio the door beside was forced open and a bustling group emerged surrounding a bed. That bed had Jay on it. They were shouting and took off running, before I could find out what was going on, they were gone. Will appeared next from the same small room. Antonio and I both turned expectantly hoping for answers. We could both see the pain on his face. There was an eerie silence between us, it had to stop. I needed to know what was going on.

I looked up to Will and said, "Well?"

"He's going back to 's ... he's had another bleed. That's what caused the seizure." Will answered.

I felt like my world had fallen out from underneath me, "How bad?" I asked shakily.

Will shook his head, "Not... not good Erin." Will ground out. He was shaking his head in disbelief.

I broke down again. I was so scared. I cried and cried and cried. I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder and heard the gruff voice of my surrogate father.

"Come here kiddo. He's going be alright we just have to be there for him, all of us. He's gonna get through this. He has far too much to live for." He said.

I just nodded into his chest. I couldn't talk even if I wanted to. Hank guided me towards the waiting room and sat me down in chair beside Alvin.

"Stay here with Al kiddo. I'm going to talk to Will find out what's going on." Hank said. I nodded again.

 **HANK'S POV**

Erin was falling apart. Jay was getting worse but so was she. I don't know how much more she could take. I had to find out what the score was. I needed to know what was happening. So I went in search of Will, Jays brother. I didn't have to go far to find him. I walked around the corner from the waiting room back to Jays room to find Will sitting in through the door on the floor in tears. He was sobbing.

I knelt down beside him and put my hand on his shoulder and rubbed my hand up and down his back trying to settle him. After a few minutes he calmed enough to look up at me.

"He's dying Voight. What am I going to do?" He sobbed.

"He's not dead yet so you have to stay strong for him, for Erin, for the baby. He gonna be okay, I just know it." I said.

Will started nodding. He looked like he was trying to reassure himself that what I was saying was right. He slowly stood up and we went back to the waiting room together. We sat down and started to wait. The second turned into minutes which turned into hours. After around three hours Will got up and said he was going to try and get an update on Jay.

He came back a little over an hour later looking rather disheveled. We all jumped up and ran over to him. Erin was first to speak, "How is he?"

Will rubbed his face, trying to prolong the inevitable. "He's been better. The surgery was a success but he has fallen into a coma. We aren't sure why but it's probably because of the stress of the two surgeries and everything in between. The chances of him waking up to start with were slim at best but they have no decreased even more. I'm so sorry Erin."

It all happened in slow motion, not two seconds after Will had finished did Erin pass out. I was about to ask Will what we did next when she began to wobble beside me. I just managed to catch her before she hit the floor.

Will rushed over, "Erin, come on Erin, wake up!" He said. "Antonio go and get me a nurse with a bed now! Erin? Can you hear me Erin?"

"Huh... What's going on?" Erin said as she slowly came to. She began to wriggle on the floor.

Will put his hand on her shoulder to settle her. "Calm down Erin. You just fainted. We are just gonna get you on a bed and check you over, make sure very thing is okay."

"No I wanna see Jay!" She said.

"No Erin you can see him after you get checked out." I told her.

"Voight's right Erin. I promise I'll stay with Jay until you get back, okay?" Antonio said.

"Fine, but I won't be gone that long and you come and get me if anything at all happens." She replied.

"I promise," Antonio answered.

 **ANTONIO'S POV**

I walked slowly down the corridor terrified of going back into that room. We couldn't lose him. We had lost enough already, first Jules, then Jin and then Nadia, we couldn't lose Jay as well. Erin wasn't coping as it was what would happen to her if he never woke up.

Eventually I could no longer put off going into the room considering I promised Erin would stay with him. So I put my shaking hand on the door and carefully pushed it open. The sight before my eyes was making my stomach churn. Jay was lying there not moving, although I hadn't expected him to be, but he was paler than he had been. Before he looked almost like himself, but now, here was a mere shadow of himself.

I sat down beside him again in the seat I had been in last night before the seizure and the surgery. I picked up his hand and started talking.

"Jay, we need you to wake up. I need you, Erin needs you, the team needs you, we won't be alright without you. What would I do with Ruzek if you weren't there?" I chuckled at the last part.

I leaned back down into the most uncomfortable chair I had ever sat in and began waiting.

 **ERIN'S POV**

"How long is this going to take Will? I need to get back to Jay."

"Erin it will take as long as it takes, I have to check on you and the baby. Jay's not going anywhere and he's in good hands." Will replied.

"Okay."

Will began to check me over before going to get an ultrasound machine just to check the baby. He did the ultrasound and made sure the baby was okay. It was such a magical feeling to here my baby's heart beat, but it was tearing me apart because Jay should have been here with me, he should be able to see this. He carried out all the tests he could and then left saying he would be back soon with the results.

Will reappeared around 20 minutes later along with Natalie.

"Hey Erin, how are you?" Natalie asked.

"I've been better to be honest and I just want Jay to be okay. I don't think I could manage without him."

"He's strong he should be okay, but so are you." Natalie replied.

"Erin you need to get some sleep and eat something." Will said.

"Fine but I'm not leaving. I'll go upstairs and sleep in a chair near Jay."

"No! Erin you need to go home and get some proper rest for the baby. Jay wouldn't want you to wear yourself out and risk the baby over him, you and I both know that. Also when he wakes up he will kick my ass if he thinks I wasn't looking after you properly." Will answered.

"But I don't want to leave him on his own Will."

"He won't be on his own, Antonio and I will both be with him."

"Fine but you call me if anything changes. Don't try and hide anything from me okay?"

"Alright, will I get Hank to take you home?"

"Yeh, please."

I couldn't believe Will was trying to make me leave Jay. I was cross at myself for giving in to him too. Jay needed me and where was I going, HOME, to bed of all the things I could do I was going to do that. I really doubt I'll sleep but I'll go only for a few hours though. Jay shouldn't be here without me.

"I'm going to check in on Jay before I go" I said to Will and Natalie as they went out through the door.

"Okay but make it quick Erin, you really do have to look after yourself better."

I made my way through the hospital back towards Jays room, when I got there I peered in through the window to see Antonio sitting uneasily in the chair by Jays bed. I slowly walked into the room trying to push my feelings down to stop myself erupting into a ball of tears and sobs again. Antonio looked up when he heard me come into the room.

"Are you okay Erin?" He asked.

"Yeh I'm fine, Will's making me go home for a few hours to try and get some sleep."

"Okay, do you want me to stay with him?"

"That would be great I just don't want him to be on his own in case he wakes up. Can I have a minute with him before I go?"

"Sure, of course. I'll be right outside the door if you need me." With that Antonio got up and went outside the room leaving me alone with Jay.

"Hey beautiful you need to hurry up and wake up because I have some exciting news and I know you will be really happy when you find out what it is, so you have to wake up soon so I can tell you. I just have to go home for a while now, your brothers orders, but I'll be back soon so don't you go anywhere."

I cautiously rubbed my hand down his arm before leaning in avoiding the breathing apparatus and the bandages on his head before placing a gentle kiss on a small part of his forehead just above his eyes that was not covered in a bandage. After that I got up and left knowing Hank was waiting downstairs to take me home.

I walked down the stairs and out through the front door of the hospital to find Hank parked right outside waiting on me. I got into the car and he drove me home neither of us saying a word the whole way to my apartment. When we arrived we both got out and went up stairs I put my key in the lock and opened the door almost in a trance not really thinking, too scared to think.

Hank walked into my apartment in front of me making a beeline for the kitchen shouting over his shoulder that he would make me something to eat if I wanted to go jump in the shower while he was cooking. I nodded even though by this stage he couldn't see me and walked in the direction of my bathroom.

I turned the shower on and got in just letting the warm water trickle down my back lulling me into a safe imaginary place where none of this was happening. I tried to convince myself the noise in the kitchen was Jay making breakfast, but I couldn't. I knew it was Hank. I knew Jay was in the hospital. I couldn't forget.

After my shower we ate and I went to bed, Hank said he would go back to the hospital to make sure everything was okay and that he would come and get me in a few hours. He assured me everything would be okay and gave me a hug before leaving.

I snuggled down into bed and pulled the covers up over me and cried myself to sleep. My sleep was filled with good dreams of Jay and I as parents and other bad dreams of me on my own with a baby at Jays grave. After that one I woke up with a start and jumped out of bed deciding that was enough sleep for now. I started to tidy up a bit and less than 30 minutes later Hank rang. When I heard the phone ring my heart sank to the floor, but it was okay he just wanted to tell me he was on his way over to lift me again.

 **Please review! Let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions everything is appreciated! Xx**


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry about the big delay, life kinda got in the way and any time I had some free time I was completely lost on where to go with this story. Hopefully you guys enjoy this.

 **10 days later...**

 **ERINS POV**

Jay has been in a coma for 10 days now. It has been the longest 10 days of my life. All we can do is sit and wait and hope. I stay with Jay as much as I can only leaving when Hank or Will tell me I have to sleep, and not for long even then. Intelligence takes it in turns to stay with us and bring me food. I don't think Will has left the hospital since it happened. He looks so tired and pale, he's wearing himself out.

I have grown to resent the people I see on my trips between the hospital, those who are happy, whose lives are simple and happy. Those people who are strolling casually down the street, laughing and chatting contentedly. I don't resent them because I know them and don't like them. No, I resent them because I'm jealous of how happy they are, when my whole world has stopped and is hanging in the balance by just one thread. That thread is Jay Halstead.

I have just come back to the hospital after Hank sent me home at around 2 this afternoon. Now it's 6 and Jays nurse has just been in to check on him. She's different, I've never seen her before. She greets me happily and talks away as she makes sure everything is okay. Well, as okay as it can be. After she leaves, I start to talk to Jay.

"Oh Jay, I know you like your sleep but is 10 days not enough already." I sighed. " I need you to wake up now, we all miss you so much. Life just isn't the same without you. I don't think I can hack it without you. There's someone else coming soon and they are really gonna need you. You deserve to met them, to know them, to love them. So, you have to wake up soon."

After that there was a calm silence that descended on the room. The only noise coming from the ventilator and the heart monitor. I relaxed back into the chair holding Jays hand. I must have fallen asleep, because all of a sudden I was woken by something twitching in my hand. It was Jays hand.

My head shot up. I'm greeted with the most amazing sight, Jays beautiful sparkling blue eyes. An enormous smile erupted on my face.

"Jay! I'm so glad your awake!" My happiness was soon interrupted, by the panic in his eyes. He was choking.

"Calm down your okay. I'll get a doctor!" I ran to the door and shouted, " Can we get some help in here now?"

Suddenly doctors and nurses descended into the room, gently pushing me out. I went to the window into the room and watched. One of the doctors was taking to Jay, calming him down, whilst shining a light in his eyes. After a few minutes the doctor moved round to the head of Jays bed, still talking to him. Some of the nurses moved too, I realised that they were going to take him off the ventilator. Thank goodness. That thing made everything seem so much worse.

Slowly the doctor removed the tube, whilst Jay coughed on instruction. The tube came out, professionally and carefully. Jay slacked back down onto the bed, but something was wrong. He still wasn't breathing. The doctor was trying to coax Jay into breathing, but it wasn't working. His lips were turning blue, the machines seemed to be beeping erratically. I was starting to panic, when yet again the doctors and nurses erupted back into action, carefully replacing the tube in Jays mouth.

He calmed down along with all the monitor once it was securely back in place. I could see the doctors conversing quietly with concerned looks. The stayed in his room for another 10 or 15 minutes before one of them came out.

"Miss Lindsay?"

"Yeh that's me. What happened?"

"Unfortunately it seems Mr Halstead has become dependent on the ventilator. He is currently unable to breath on his own right now which we discovered when we tried to remove the ventilator. So we sedated him and replaced the ventilator for now. We are going to take him for another set of scans, see if we can't figure what's going on and get him of the ventilator for you."

"Thank you."

"I'll let you know what's going on the second we figure it out. Someone will be down really soon to take him to CT."

"Okay. Can I sit with him until then?"

"Of course go ahead." The doctor said before heading off down the corridor.

 **Later on ...**

I walked back into the room to see Jay. I had got so excited when he woke up, but it seemed like we were back to square one now. I sat there casually stroking his hand talking to him. It wasn't long though until Will burst into the room.

"Oh Erin," Will sighed, "We'll get through this, he'll get through this." Will said as he enveloped a now sobbing Erin in a hug.

"What happened Will? Why does he have to go through this too? Hasn't he suffered enough already?"

"Aw Erin, of course he's suffered enough, he's already been through more than he deserves but he's strong and in a day or so he will hopefully be strong enough to breathe by himself." Will answered.

After that Will say down and both of us sat there in silence watching Jay just hoping and praying this nightmare would be over soon.

After another half hour a doctor walked in and said he had the results of the CT. I bolt upright in my chair internally praying that there was nothing wrong. Please nothing more.

"It seems Mr Halstead has no permanent damage to his brain. I believe what happened there was just him beginning to come round and it was just too early to remove the breathing tube. Hopefully when we try again in a few days he will be able to breath by himself." The doctor said.

"Thank you," Will and I echoed in unison. We then silently went back to our beside vigil thankful that for now there were no more problems to deal with.

 **3 days later...**

Finally after 2 weeks of waiting Jay was awake and breathing by himself this time as well. Unfortunately because fate enjoys laughing in our faces Jay is having some issues speaking and is going to have to learn to walk again, but on the upside he's alive and Will doesn't think the speech problems will be permanent so we have to decided to push on through.

I told Jay about the baby about an hour ago, he was absolutely over the moon even if he did struggle to find the words to express it I could see the joy in his eyes. He has to start speech therapy later today and physical therapy starts tomorrow morning. Antonio has volunteered to help Jay with his therapy and had bought some things Jay can use in the boxing gym to help him get back on his feet.

According to Will we should be able to get out of here some time early next week and considering it's Wednesday now, that's really soon. Jay was really down earlier and he was struggling but with some help from Dr. Charles he's trying to focus on the positives and getting better. I know we are going to have hard patches and Jay has a long road ahead of him but I just can't help be happy that he's alive and that he's gonna get to meet his child. Jay will make an absolutely amazing father I know that already, even the way his eyes light up when someone uses the word baby, is mesmerising.

 **Jays POV**

This time when I woke up the fog cleared quicker and I could feel the vaguely familiar feeling of the breathing tube in my mouth. As soon as I was awake Erin went and got a doctor. She stood at my bedside nervously fiddling with my hand as the doctor prepared to remove the tube, at the time I didn't know why but Antonio explained later. I can't believe I put her through that, she deserves better than me.

I was so glad when it was out, then I went to talk to Erin but I couldn't think of the words and ended up just murmuring to her, which I think panicked her long before I realised it should panic me too. The doctor then jumped in asking questions, trying to get me to answer, some of them I could answer but others I just couldn't get the words out. I could tell I knew what I was supposed to say but it was like I had forgot how. It's so frustrating! The doctor and my brother Will think that it's only temporary and with some time and a bit of speech therapy I should be balk to talking crap as Will put it. I just rolled my eyes at him because I was too tired to even try and say something that I knew would come out wrong anyway. After that both Will and the other doctor left and it was just Erin and I.

As promised by Will before he left a speech therapist appeared through my door after about 20 minutes of Erin and I just sitting watching TV. My speech therapist was really nice but I got so annoyed with her. I'm just struggling with not being able to say what I want. I feel like a little baby. I'm surprised Erin has stayed this long. It's not like I'm exactly the strapping ex- ranger she fell for. After the speech therapist leaves, Erin comes back in and sits down beside me and grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly.

I lay there looking at how beautiful she is and wondering what she could see in an invalid like me. but at some point I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I new it was dark and Erin was just sitting staring at me, by this point my speech was getting better and I was able to ask what was wrong. She said it was nothing really, just she as so scared of losing me. I reassured her I wasn't going anywhere, or at least I tried to, really we both ended up giggling at me trying to think of how to say it. Then out of know where Erin said she had something important to tell me. She took my hand in hers and told me the best thing I think I have ever heard, she's pregnant. I couldn't believe, I was so happy, and then I tried to tell and yet again I couldn't get the words out, this is so annoying, but I think Erin could see how happy I was.

Later on the doctor decided I could get up and go for a short walk. Yet again fate kicked me in the teeth and I stood up and my knees just wouldn't hold up. I could see this upset Erin who immediately asked the doctors what was wrong. They told her and me obviously, that because I hadn't been up and walking for two weeks that my body had just forgotten how. I began to wonder if my body remembered how to do anything. Yet again thinking how useless is was, how am I going to be any use as a father if I can't even stand by myself. The doctor then explained that with some patience, time and therapy I could get back to myself if I tried.

The nurses and Erin helped settle me back into bed, where I lay down and went back to sleep. I couldn't watch Erin feeling sorry for me for even a minute longer. The next time I woke up Voight and Antonio where there too, quietly talking with Erin. None of them noticed I was awake so I lay there listening to their conversation.

"He's just struggling with it all and he's getting frustrated. I wish he could talk to me though let me help him." Erin said.

"Give him time Erin he only just woke up today, you might be struggling yourself if you woke up this morning and discovered you couldn't walk or talk anymore, and then you found out you were going to be a father. That's a lot to deal with in one day." Voight replied.

"I just hoped telling him about the baby would help lift his spirits and it did, but that only lasted about ten minutes."

Antonio jumped in next, "He's probably wondering what his child will think of him like this, I know I would be. I'm not saying that's the right thing to think about, but I imagine that's what would go through my head. He just needs reminded that this isn't permanent and that none of us think any less of him right now."

"Maybe we should get him to talk to Doctor Charles." Erin suggested.

"That would be a very good idea if he could talk Erin," Voight sighed.

"He could try writing, I just think it would help to get all his feeling out there, especially to someone like Dr. Charles who is neutral in this situation." Erin replied.

"Okay, I'll go see if I can find him," Voight said getting up from his seat and leaving.

It was after Voight left that I let them know I was awake. I needed a drink.

"Wa..." I coughed. That's all I could get out. I could see Erin looking at me trying to figure out what I wanted. So I tried again, "Wat..er". I got the whole word this time and so did Erin, she got up smiling about it to get me a drink.

"Hey buddy, how are you feeling?" Antonio asked.

I thought about my reply and decided to give it ago, "I've ... b.. been... bett... er." I ground out, but at least I got it out.

"You'll get there buddy, we're all here to help." Antonio replied.

After I got a drink we all settled back down and Antonio started to tell me about something stupid Ruzek had done in the bullpen the day before. We were sat there for a while when Voight returned with Dr. Charles. Internally I sighed, I didn't need a shrink who didn't have a clue what this feel like telling me that I was going to be okay and that everything would be alright.

I think Erin must have noticed this as she got up and came closer and whispered in my ear, "Give this a go, for me and the baby, please." After that her, Antonio and Vought left.

I love her and I thought she might leave for good if I didn't and j couldn't deal with that as well right now so I did. I have to admit that it helped. Dr Charles really did manage to convince me that it was up to me if this was permanent or not. He pointed out that if I was to try hard enough I had control over getting my life back. So that's what I'm gonna do with the help of my family for Erin and the baby, I'm going to get back to myself.


End file.
